One chilly and long ago February morning before the sun had made its presence known, I settled onto a meditation cushion smack in the middle of the meditation hall. Usually when I sat in the hall most of the fifty cushions were occupied but, this morning my early arrival allowed me to indulge in the quiet before the noise of fifty practitioners breathing swamped my awareness. I figured I had thirty minutes before the gatekeeper started arranging things for the morning sit. I shook my body loosing the early morning knots and let the quiet envelop me in its arms.
“I see you’ve attached yourself to the sensuality of the quiet” said the old man, under my breath I cursed the interruption but, I smiled as I opened my eyes to see him sitting next to me. The old man had managed to enter the hall and sit himself down without my noticing, I felt instant hostility with him for interrupting me and anger with myself for being so enraptured that I hadn’t heard him enter the hall.
“Good-morning” I said putting my hands together and bowing slightly in his direction. “I’m pleased you’ve stayed on for a while, he said, “what made you stay?” I grunted out something about how I took his advice, and that I needed to get a handle on my life being out of control and too busy. “Too busy?” He asked. “What do you mean too busy?” I had just wanted to sit and enjoy the quiet, now I’d opened my mouth and was stuck next to this old man, someone I still thought was the janitor of the retreat center.
“I have too many things to do, too many commitments in my life,” I said. “So what’s the problem,” he said. “Why not throw-out a few commitments?” I glared at his smiling face feeling my hostility starting to again rise and replied, “It’s not that easy.” “Of course it is, you choose them you lose them.” he said as he stood up and walked toward the door. “Enjoy the quiet,” he said and was gone.
Who was this old man to tell me what to do. What did he know about my life about my circumstances or how important my commitments were. I couldn’t just toss away things that filled my life, things that defined me. It was the last thought that stopped my internal rant cold in its tracks. Defined me? Was I my commitments, was I attached that deeply to them that even the thought of giving some of them up would cause me unease and dread? I got up and once again escaped out the fire door (no alarm) for a cigarette.
Below I’ve attached a list of 10 posts about being Too Busy, I think you’ll find them worth a look even though I know you’re too busy. 🙂[listly id=”bYU” layout=”magazine” show_header=”true” show_author=”true” show_sharing=”false” show_tools=”false” per_page=”25″]
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