Susan Taylor - What Is Dialogue?

The 10X Rule

Over the weekend, I read a book by Grant Cardone that I picked up in an airport bookstore some weeks ago, entitled The 10X Rule: The Only Difference between Success and Failure.

What drew me to the book was the notion that this “10X Rule” could be applied to every aspect of our lives – spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, familial and financial — and that what gets in the way of taking massive action towards achieving our dreams are limitations we place on ourselves that prevent us from moving beyond mediocrity. Cardone’s view is that we live in a society that is addicted to being average. We conduct research and collect data as a way to establish results that are “good enough”. This societal acceptance of “average” is exactly what inhibits us from believing what is possible, snuffing the life out of the phenomenal capacities we have as human beings, cutting off access to quantum science and thinking.

[Read more…] about The 10X Rule

Dialogue is Like a Game of Solitaire

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I have two entertainment apps on my iPhone, one of which is Solitaire. Sometimes when I’m waiting to board a plane or riding in the car on a long drive, I’ll play a few games to pass the time. Because I travel a lot, this has added up to exactly 7,821 games played since November 2012.

Who Has Time for Engagement?

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Employee engagement. A hot topic these days. According to Gallup, “only 13% of employees worldwide are engaged at work.” In other words, only 1 out of 8 employees are “psychologically committed to their jobs and likely to be making positive contributions to their organizations.”

Actively disengaged employees worldwide? 24%, outnumbering engaged employees by nearly 2:1.

Employees worldwide who are not engaged? 63%, meaning they lack motivation; and are therefore less likely to invest “effort in organizational goals or outcomes.”

Dialogue Begins with Ignorance

Ignorance. An interesting word. Yet often times associated with negative connotations.

I think people generally identify ignorance with low intelligence or stupidity and with that, foolishness and idiocy. At the same time, we’ve all heard the phrase “ignorance is bliss”. But what does that really mean?

Thomas Gray is well known for his phrase, “where ignorance is bliss, ‘tis folly to be wise”. It is probably one of the most misunderstood phrases in English literature. As it was written, Gray was reminiscing about his innocent youth — a time when he was “permitted” to be ignorant. He was not promoting ignorance. Yet I would like to suggest that we do.

When you look up the word “ignorance” in the dictionary, it is defined as “the condition of being uneducated, unaware or uninformed”. Yet when I think about the definition of ignorance, words that immediately come to my mind include: inexperience, uncertainty and unfamiliarity. These are words of power – especially in Dialogue, because…

With inexperience, there is innocence.

In uncertainty, you develop trust.

And in unfamiliarity, there is newness.

Innocence. Trust. Newness. These are compelling qualities. They are also necessary conditions for Generative Dialogue and what can be created through it.

Anthony Blake, author of The Supreme Art of Dialogue, says it beautifully:

In Dialogue, “there is a profound openness – a reaching for something further. This conforms to the requirement of ignorance. It also points to another essential characteristic of Dialogue which is that it operates in the present moment. This means that the process is open to the unexpected and that Dialogue is by its very nature creative.”

American physicist, Dr. David Bohm, felt Dialogue to be one of the most effective ways to investigate the crises facing society, human nature and consciousness. This process of free exchange of ideas and information was felt by Bohm to be of fundamental relevance “for transforming culture, freeing it of destructive misinformation, so that creativity can be liberated.”

And the most essential quality in Dialogue?

Humility.

“The outcome of Dialogue is more a growing realization of ignorance than any attainment of smart ideas that look good to other people.”

Intellectual humility is essential to higher-level thinking.

Intellectual humility is the understanding that you don’t know everything. You don’t know what you don’t know. There is always more to learn. Humility therefore requires having knowledge and acceptance of our ignorance. In this you become aware of your assumptions, preconceptions and the limiting beliefs that you hold. In short, intellectual humility is the awareness of ignorance and essential to higher-level thinking.

Understanding your ignorance improves your thinking in multiple ways. You gain knowledge of false beliefs and assumptions and begin to challenge them. In challenging them you realize self-imposed limitations. And there is an opening where you begin to entertain opposing views. Through this, you begin to understand what you don’t know. And with that understanding, the desire to know it all begins to fall away.

Our human tendency is to learn a little and then think we know a lot. We then generalize from what is limited information – accepting much of what we hear and read with without skepticism – especially when it agrees with passionately held beliefs and ideals to which our identity is attached.

“Fullness of knowledge always and necessarily means some understanding

of the depths of our ignorance, and that is always conducive to both humility

and reverence.”

— Robert A. Millikan

In conversation, discussion and debate, people usually speak from what they know – or what they think they know. In Dialogue, ignorance is the starting point.

Through understanding the depths of your ignorance, you foster humility – something not only essential to Dialogue; but essential to human flourishing. In humility there is wisdom. From this wisdom, new knowledge is born.

If we can be vulnerable to accept and understand our inexperience, uncertainty and unfamiliarity, and in that ignorance embrace the world with innocence, trust and a sense of newness, we reach for something further – opening ourselves to a world of possibility beyond anything we can imagine in this moment. “In the beginner’s mind, there are many possibilities; but in the expert’s mind, there are few.” ~Shunryu Suzuki

Our Fear of Slowing Down

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I heard a story yesterday about a senior executive whose boss just fired him. As you can imagine, this manager was quite upset. The way in which he was terminated was distressing – even to me — and I wasn’t the one losing my job.

This gentleman revealed how hurtful the whole experience was for him. In the same breath, he also shared how his 27 year-old-daughter broke down crying when he told her the news about his termination. But she wasn’t crying because she was sad. She was crying because she felt joy and relief. She had been observing for many years how this job was affecting her father and was so grateful for his dismissal that she was brought to tears. Losing the job meant winning his life back.

The Magic in Dialogue

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I Create As I Speak

Abracadabra! That enchanting word a magician utters giving him the power to create seemingly impossible things.

My father has had an interest in magic since he was 8 years old. I have fond memories of him performing various card tricks; pulling an authentic-looking rabbit out of a hat (who my sister and I named Pricilla); discovering a nickel behind my ear; and making things disappear. My childhood included visits to countless magic stores across the country and hearing my father share stories about the world-renowned Magic Castle in Hollywood. Nearly 70 years after he witnessed his first magic show as a young boy, my dad remains passionate about this mystical art. So it was no surprise to me yesterday when he handed to me a printed piece of paper with these words:

We’re Comfortably Numb and It’s Robbing Us of Our Creativity

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Hello? Is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me. Is there anyone home?

Lyrics from “Comfortably Numb” in Pink Floyd’s 1979 album, “The Wall”. And a popular song in my life, growing up as a teenager in the early 80’s. Back then, the song was thought to be about drugs. Roger Waters, writer of the lyrics, claims it is not; it’s a song about times when he simply felt detached.

The Galapagos Tortoise, a Workshop & Dialogue

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Last Friday was the first day of my 2nd ½ century. I have chosen to enter this next phase of life wholly and in that, I have both excitements and concerns.

One of the many wonderful birthday gifts I received was a book from my oldest daughter, entitled: Alone Together by Sherry Turkle. Given my work in Dialogue at Generon International and as co-founder of iUnplug – a movement with a focus towards better balancing online time with real life activities, I am very familiar with and interested in Turkle’s views.